crash and burn

For Alex \par
\par
The first thing I remembered was the wind. Like a forlorn wolf, a beaten child howling sorely in my ear. \par
I was buffeted around – a toy caught in the strong hand of God’s updraft; the last leaf on a winter tree.\par
The air punched and pulled as I fell, leaving me black and blue and dazed, the stars flying around my\par
head just as real as the stars I was shooting past at great speed. Warp speed, the speed of light, \par
the speed of sound paled in comparison to the dark, loud, empty fall I was experiencing. \par
\par
Stars, there’s a start. Or an end to a start, I suppose. Even slipping unnoticed past these firey giants,\par
sparkling, tamely winking like the eyes God used when he dropped or pulled me towards Earth. \par
I could see that great big green and blue yonder, more of a marble than I, more like the middle \par
ball in Newton’s Cradle – Earth doesn’t move but something big has happened. Earth’s unaware of the\par
shockwaves running through it. Earth is a blind mute with ears that still function, grasping at straws of\par
meaning from snippets of sound. Earth is the child playing hide-and-seek, listening as the count down \par
commences. \par
\par
The speed tears me. Not in two, but the newly acquired speed peels me as I hurtle towards the blind \par
planet and flecks of dust-that-was-me leave sparkling trails of orange and brown. Red and white charred \par
black, sprinkles behind me as sporadically as a child’s cake decoration. The bone of me is dry and \par
sparks. My outer shell is black and cracked. I am coal, I burn. I burn magnicifently as I enter unsuspecting\par
Earth’s atmosphere. \par
\par
Marked by fire, I fell spectacularly, my ribbons of bone trailing as a glamour – beauty always masks it’s\par
intentions. I was as gorgeous and full of promise as a Mayday parade, although with more speed,\par
more fire, more danger, more fun!  Who would choose a life of tame mediocrity sparkling along, when \par
you could crash and burn, your flames leaving a scar as vital and vibrant fifty years from now as today? \par
\par
Consumed by flames and larger than life in my death, I fall blindly, serenely deafened by the song \par
of stars, the breath of God. I’m the ball at the end of Newton’s Cradle and I kissed the waiting Earth. \par
\par
Lalah-Simone Springer 3/2/2009\par
}

For Alex

The first thing I remembered was the wind.

Like a forlorn wolf,

A beaten child howling sorely in my ear.

I was buffeted – a toy caught in the strong hand of God’s updraft;

The last leaf on a winter tree.

The air punched and pulled as I fell,

Leaving me black and blue and dazed,

The stars flying around my head just as real as the stars I was shooting past

At great speed.

Warp speed,

The speed of light,

The speed of sound

Paled in comparison to the dark, loud, empty fall

I was experiencing.

Stars, there’s a start.

Or an end to a start, I suppose.

Even slipping unnoticed

Past these fiery giants,

Sparkling, tamely winking like the eyes God used

When he dropped or pulled me towards Earth.

I could see that great big green and blue yonder,

More of a marble than I,

More like the middle ball in Newton’s Cradle

Earth doesn’t move but something big has happened.

Earth’s unaware of the shockwave running through it.

Earth is a blind mute with ears that still function,

Grasping at straws of meaning from snippets of sound.

Earth is the child playing hide-and-seek,

Listening as the count down commences.

The velocity tears me.

Not in two, but the newly acquired speed

Peels me as I hurtle towards the blind planet

And flecks of dust-that-was-me

Leave dazzling trails of orange and brown.

Red and white charred black, sprinkles behind me

As sporadically as a child’s cake decoration.

The bone of me is dry and sparks.

My outer shell is black and cracked.

I am coal, I burn.

I burn magnificently as I enter unsuspecting Earth’s atmosphere.

Marked by fire, I fell spectacularly,

My ribbons of bone trailing as a glamour –

Beauty always masks its intentions.

I was as gorgeous and full of promise as a Mayday parade,

Although with more speed,

More fire,

More danger,

More fun!

Who would choose a lackluster,

When you could crash and burn,

Your flames leaving a scar as vital and vibrant

Fifty years from now as today?

Consumed by flames and larger than life

In my death, I fall blindly,

Serenely deafened by the song of stars,

The breath of God.

I’m the ball at the end of Newton’s Cradle

And I kissed the waiting Earth.

"And I kissed the waiting Earth"

Lalah-Simone Springer 3/2/2009
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7 Responses to “crash and burn”

  1. Alex August 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm #

    I love you so much. You speak such sense. Wise beyond our futile years, always and forever, you.

    • Lalah-Simone Springer October 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm #

      you’re so sweeet.
      well, you know you were the inspiration for this, so maybe you should take some credit too?
      been watching rupaul’s drag race? it’s like america’s next but with drag quees, amazing! ;)
      i love you!! x

  2. Uncle Matt September 25, 2009 at 9:18 am #

    Stunning Lalah! Nothing surprises me with you.

    Always,

    Matt

  3. Lalah-Simone Springer October 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm #

    ah matt, i haven’t looked at your blog lately, have you been updating it? i’m going to look now. love you =) x
    oh, and thanks for inviting us out the other night it was really nice. next time i’ll drag james along too, haha

  4. raspberrylove June 22, 2010 at 6:00 pm #

    This is absolutely beautiful. Wow. Great job.

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